A Caregiver’s Burden
I took time off to celebrate the graduation of my daughter from The University of Michigan.
I am sitting on my deck with my second cup of coffee and admiring the splendid view of the mountains. As I reflect upon the weekend, I feel proud. Ann Arbor is a special place to us. Both my husband and I went to college there and it is where we met. There I was, back in The Big House, sitting with family, watching my daughter graduate. The commencement was beautiful, even though the weather did not cooperate. As President Ono was congratulating the class of 2023, the sun shone for just a few minutes upon them.
It was bit bittersweet, however. As a caregiver, I have responsibility for Mom. She can no longer stay home without supervision. Knowing that she is safe gives me peace of mind so I can leave and enjoy myself.
It was quite an ordeal to find someone to look after Mom. I began the process in January. I faced several challenges:
Having recently relocated, I was not familiar with the system, and I did not have any connections.
Mom is uncomfortable staying with people she does not know well and there did not seem to be enough time to find someone, have Mom get to know one another, etc.
I was not comfortable leaving Mom with someone I did not know well, or having a stranger come into my house and spend the night.
I had limited alternatives.
My siblings. I was hoping they could attend.
Her siblings. One is facing a health issue; the other does not like to fly.
My son. He won a sales trip that was scheduled for that same week.
After discussing with my siblings, we determined that my sister would come. It was unfortunate because she is also an alum. It also meant that no one from my side of the family would attend (luckily my husband has a large family and most of them live in the area).
I did not give Mom a choice. Once the details were finalized, I told her what was taking place. What struck me is the fact that she seemed unaware of how difficult this was for all of us. The fact that no one from my family could attend, that my sister, who recently had a health issue, had to come to care for her or that my husband and I had to drive 2+ hours the night before we left to pick up my sister at the airport.
Through all of this, I am fortunate to have siblings willing to chip in. I was able to take a well-deserved break from caregiving and enjoy spending time with my daughter and in-laws and am incredibly proud of my daughter.
Questions for you:
How do you take a break from caregiving?
How frequently do you take a break?
Helpful Resources:
How to Find a Private Caregiver to Hire Directly (carepathways.com)