Caregiving: Is Mom Experiencing Elder Abuse?

Mom is doing great in skilled nursing care. She continues to gain “skill,” which is exactly what they like to see. I sat in on three of her sessions and watched her complete the exercises and tasks. She went beyond, doing more repetitions. Impressive to see mom pushing herself and it is great to see that, given she has not done this over the past five years. Better late than never, right?

One day when I was visiting, she mentioned that the male nurse assigned to her entered her room without knocking while she was in the bathroom. She was shocked because all the nurses and staff knocked on the door before entering (I was there to witness it). Mom told me that she mentioned this incident to a staff member. Since he had been knocking and more respectful, she figured they must have mentioned it. We moved on.

I missed five days of visiting to move my daughter into her apartment (she starts her new job on Monday). When I had my next visit with her, she mentioned that one evening she was in the bathroom and when she came out, he was sitting in the chair in her room. She asked him why he was there, and he said, “I thought I would help you put your pajamas on.” She told him she could do that herself and did not need his help. He promptly left. Mom asked me not to mention anything about this situation, yet I cannot help being a bit concerned, so I did a bit of research on elder abuse in nursing facilities. Here are statistics I discovered:

• A recent study by the US Government found that 30% of the nursing homes in the country were sited for at least one instance of abuse in a two-year period.

• More than 40% of nursing home residents have reported abuse.

• With the elderly population expected to reach 20% by the year 2050, it is expected that these numbers will continue to increase.

• Ninety percent of people who are abused refuse to report the incident because they do not want to get anyone into trouble.

I was not clear exactly what elder abuse was. In my research, the following things:

• Physical abuse

• Emotional or psychological abuse

• Neglect

• Social abuse

• Financial abuse

I am not 100% confident that what mom is experiencing is abuse. It is odd behavior, and I am keeping an eye on the situation. It is helpful that I visit frequently, and I know what to look for. I am considering asking if the facility will assign a different nurse to her. With every visit, there is at least one staff member that tells me how sweet mom is and how much they enjoy talking with her. I do not understand why this nurse does not seem to feel the same. Before I do that, I want to ask mom how she feels about the request.

This is good information to keep in mind for those of us with elderly loved ones who reside in nursing facilities.

Questions for you:

• Has your loved one or someone you know experienced elder abuse in a nursing facility?

• Did you report it?

• What do you do to make sure that your loved one is not experiencing elder abuse?

Helpful Resources:

How to Tell If a Nursing Home Is Neglecting a Loved One (nextavenue.org)

Report Nursing Home Abuse | Find Abuse & Neglect Hotlines (nursinghomeabusecenter.com)

17 Elderly Abuse In Nursing Homes Statistics - BrandonGaille.com

Nursing Home Abuse Statistics - Elderly Care (nursinghomeabuseguide.org)

Nursing Home Abuse & Neglect: Everything You Need to Know (levinperconti.com)