Living With Your Mother Again - Only This Time She is Old
I am done raising my kids and am looking forward to enjoying retirement. Since Mom came to live with me, I feel as if I am starting over.
Here are six things I learned about living with your mother (again):
It is a case of role reversal. She becomes the child, and I became the parent. She forgot everything that she taught me, and she doesn’t care. Remember don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink, clean up after yourself, be ready to leave at xx time, use the restroom before we leave, do not forget to bring the list of medications to your appointment? Non-existent.
I have no privacy. She is always around. She is a sleuth and sneaks upon me when I least expect it. I have no idea how long she’s been there. She rarely knocks and just walks into my bedroom unannounced to ask a random question about something that does not seem important.
I became the teacher, as she must relearn everything – from using a washer/dryer, to turning on the stove burner.
Our quality of conversation content is greatly reduced. Topics include her ailments and biological functions in detail (more than I ever wanted to know) – her feet hurt, she has bunions, she has incontinence issues, itches on her leg and scalp, veins in her legs. The list goes on.
She relies on me for everything, yet I know nothing. I became dermatologist, fashion consultant and medical advisor. I conduct a lot of research on orthopedic, fashionable and comfortable shoes and clothing, incontinence care items, cosmetics that are hydrating and do not have an SPF, concealers that cover red spots, and the best color shoes to wear with gray slacks.
Our relationship became transactional in her small world. I (and my house) became her world. She expects me to be her friend, caregiver, confidant, errand runner.
If you live with your aging parent, what have you learned? What has changed in your life?